My life is finally back to normal after 2 weeks. Josh had to go to Birmingham to train for his new job. I wasn't complaining at all when he left because I felt so blessed that he finally found a job that he's excited about. And, to be honest, I didn't think I needed him around. I knew that he helped out, but I don't think I realized how much different/harder it is when there is only one parent. The first week wasn't so bad with him gone. He got to come home for the weekend. I was tired from running around, but I didn't feel drained. That second week was a different story. I was tired, irritable, depressed... and this all rubbed off on Peyton. It was really a wake-up call that I do need my husband. And he was only gone for 2 weeks. After this experience, I have so much more respect for single parents and military wives or wives with husbands who travel for work regularly. Those people, I believe, are stronger than anyone ever sees.
This makes me even more amazed at the plans God has for us. Twice in the last 2 1/2 years, we have talked about Josh joining the military. He couldn't really find his place in the work world, and he felt like this would give him some direction. I wanted him to do it because I thought it would make him grow up and start being more responsible. He would be able to join as an officer because of his degree. This would make us more money than any job he would be able to get right now. I don't think I was really grasping what all would have to be sacrificed if we went through with this.
-The first time he talked to a recruiter, Josh made it all the way up to MEPS in Nashville. He passed his physical exam, background check- all that was left was the ASVAB. Even though he had a degree, he had to score high enough on this test to qualify him for an officer's position. Well, he passed the test, but only high enough to become enlisted, not an officer. His recruiter almost had him convinced that he should go ahead and enlist, then after basic training they would let him take the ASVAB again and he could go to officer's school. Thank GOD, Josh decided to call his dad and ask him about this before he signed the papers. His dad told him, no way- to definitely not sign any papers to enlist him in the Army. Apparently, once you sign those enlistment papers, they don't have to let you do anything. In other words, they could promise him all day long that they would let him take that test again, but they could send him off on a tour before he got a chance. So, he decided that he would wait and take the test again after 90 days and try again to become an officer. Well, he never called the recruiter back, and we just kind of forgot about it. He got a temporary job picking up trash. It wasn't what he wanted to be doing with his life (obviously) but it wouldn't last that long either.
-A year later, Josh was still at this "temporary" job picking up trash. He wasn't happy or fulfilled with what he was doing, but it was easy and (what he kept telling himself) nobody was hiring right now anyways. A week before Christmas, his boss called him and let him go. We didn't know what he was going to do. He applied for jobs, never heard anything, kept applying for jobs, and continued silence from the phone. So the military talks began again. Josh contacted a different recruiter and began studying for the ASVAB again. He studied for 3 weeks straight and felt very prepared to take the test. He went to take it- and didn't score high enough again. He was very upset. And I was too. I wanted that money. I wanted those benefits. I wasn't thinking at all about all the time that he would be gone, what all he would miss from Peyton's life, the risk he would be putting his life in.
About a month after this, he got the phone call from Sprint. Another crazy, God-filled story about the hiring process, but that's for another time. Now he is doing something he's excited about, he has great benefits, good pay and commission, and I really fee like he's ready to succeed. It's still not the perfect career job, but that's ok. I was thinking last week about how I would have reacted to him really being gone for the military. The constant worry, the single parent mindset that military wives have to assume- there are so many things that God knew I didn't want (that I wasn't even thinking about). I'm sure I would have been able to handle it. I know that I can do all things if I just put my faith in God. But I don't think I would have been happy. It works for some people- there's nothing wrong with that. Our country would not be what it was today if it were not for our military men and women protecting us. Maybe they are stronger than me. But God knew what he was doing for me and Josh when he didn't pass those tests.
This just makes me think when things don't go the way I feel they should. God always knows what is best for us. Sometimes he shows us hard times so we will put everything we have in Him. I thank God today for the blessings that my family will receive even though right now I don't know what they are. I am still job searching- and I know something will come along with the time is right and my eyes are on God.
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