So... I was ok with not getting that job. I had accepted that it wasn't going to happen. Then, my aunt (who works at the place I interviewed with) asked her friend in HR to look into it yesterday, and apparently they haven't made an official offer to anyone yet. So I really struggled last night with how to feel. Do I get my hopes up again? Do I get excited about all the possibilities that this job has to offer? Or do I continue my solemn acceptance that I wasn't quite good enough, but that something else will come along?
The one thing that I keep thinking is that God works in awesome ways. But, you have to put everything that you have in Him to reap the benefits of his grace and mercy. That's a pretty amazing concept. We have done nothing to deserve all that God has to offer us. All that we have to do is put our eyes on Him and live our lives through Him, and he will make us heirs to His throne. That's pretty awesome to me! I think that God shows us hard times NOT because He wants to make us suffer, but because He wants to show us that we can do nothing without Him. Alot of people forget about God when their lives are going good. And then when things start going wrong, they want to blame God. I have been guilty of this in the past. But what is so important to remember is that we need to thank God in the good times and the bad times. We need to realize that whatever we have on this Earth is no more and no less than what God provided for us.
But, I don't feel like God will give us things that we ask for in the perfect little packages that so many humans have come to expect in this day. My personal example is this- Any time I have prayed for patience and understanding, what do I get in my life? Not a beautiful peaceful day at the beach. Not my daughter being a perfect little 2 year old. No, I get stuck at every red light on the way to work, a grumpy co-worker that says his expense reports weren't done right, a 45-minute task to complete 5 minutes before I leave work, a crying kid on the way home, a broken fridge, and a husband that drank the last drop of wine without me the night before. What I'm saying is that when you pray for patience, God will give you opportunities to be patient. Kinda makes sense, huh? How could you ever work on anything if you are never put to the test? God is amazing, there is no doubt, BUT I seriously doubt that He would ever just change your personality over night to make you the most easy-going, relaxed person ever. But you wanna know what I think the coolest part about all of this is?
While He's giving you the opportunities to work on things you've asked for, God gives you all the tools you need to succeed. And it's very simple. All you need is Him. Everytime you feel like pulling your hair out over something, stop for a second and thank God for this day and ask Him to HELP YOU get through this moment. HE WILL!!!
So, that tangent was my thought process of what to think about this still potential job opportunity. I'm not going to stress about it. I do still really want that job, but if it doesn't happen- it's OK. God will provide. There will be other opportunities, maybe even better ones.
(My prayer)
God, please keep my patient as I wait to hear one way or the other about this job. I will set my eyes on You and know that even if this was not my time, it will be soon. Because I love You and I believe that You are a God that provides. I will not stress about the uncertain future of my current job, but I will feel blessed that I am able to provide for my family right now while so many people are not. I am thankful to You for the job offer I will receive even though I don't know right now what that job will be. You are an awesome God and I hope that I will bring glory and honor to You through everything I do in this job search. I want employers to see an extra spark in me that they can't quite put their finger on- but that spark will be You, God. Thank you for all my many blessings. I ask all of this in Jesus' name. Amen.
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