My Dad

So... I haven't written in a while. There's been alot going on in my simple, small world. First, the infamous Alabama tornadoes hit, and we didn't have power for a week; then, something happened that has changed my life forever. My dad died. I know people's parents die every day. And people's husbands and wives. And children. I have really struggled with allowing myself to grieve over this. I have never been in the position where I am the one hurting the most. I've never had anybody REALLY close to me die. Or even get really sick. The pain that I feel over my dad is a completely, utterly new experience for me. I haven't blamed God or gotten mad at God. I have wondered "Why?" a few times, but I know I will never have that answer. I am trying to lean on God and place all my trust and worries in Him, but it has been hard. Monday will be 3 weeks. As with most things in life, it feels like it could've been a year ago but it also feels like it happened yesterday. My life has not gotten back to normal. Somebody told me that I needed to start expecting a "new" normal. I'm not sure I know what that means yet- but I'm trying.

Since this happened, I have had constant memories running through my head of the 25 years that Dad and I had together. Some are happy, some are sad, alot are funny. I'm remembering some things that I haven't thought about in years. But it's like I've been clinging onto these memories for therapy. I'm terrified of forgetting any one of them. So, as a new therapy, along with a new-found goal of straightening out my prayer and meditation life with God, I have decided to start writing down every memory I can think of with my Dad in it. Some might be kind of boring; but I need to make sure I don't forget ANYTHING.

They will only be under the Label "Dad" because I don't want to start a new blog. I will probably get back into writing about other things too, because as I said earlier- I have to get back into my "new normal," and life still goes on, but for a while I will just be writing about my Dad.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul" Psalm 143